The GOAT

The Greatest-Of-All-Time coach in college football history retired yesterday. That’s right…I said it. I don’t think ANYONE can dispute this fact, and I haven’t seen anyone even try since the announcement. The lovefest for his unparalleled success and impact on the game is in full force (as it should be) and will probably continue on for the days/weeks/months (YEARS!) ahead, which this man has earned.

It should come as no surprise to anyone that the rest of the college football world took a giant, collective exhale when the news broke. The gridiron just leveled out a bit. Something new is on the horizon. ANYTHING is possible now where – let’s face it – it seemed an impossible dragon to slay for 17 years. Sure. The rest of us had our moments when we caught the dragon slipping or off his guard. Nobody is perfect. But those moments were very few and far between. In the immortal words of Lloyd Christmas, the feeling today is, “SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THERE’S A CHANCE!” 

Now to my brothers & sisters in crimson - 

To be shocked and horrified that every other fanbase – especially that of your “little brother” as you like to call us – is celebrating, is just silly. You know who else is celebrating? HIM! The GOAT. The dragon…and every person who loves him and is looking forward to the days to come when he can finally exhale and relax and be the husband, dad, grandpa, friend, (commentator?) that all of them (dare I say…us?) want him to be and that he wants for himself. Nobody died, for crying out loud! He chose this. He deserves it. He’s earned it.

Look. I know you know this. We all know it. And I know you're sad that this truly historical era has come to an end, but I implore you to have a little perspective. You had a coach for 17 years who built the kind of unprecedented legacy that is impossible to compare to anything else…because it’s never happened before! Why waste your time being outraged by the inevitable little celebrations that are popping off like fireworks in the distance. Why not just sit up there on your precarious throne and be smug and “above it all”…while you still can?

Now…if I may be so bold…I will speak just for my “family” (I know you hate that we call ourselves that). Congratulations to the GOAT, his team, his school, and his “nation” for everything that you’ve all accomplished together. Good for you. But we are certainly not going to apologize for admittedly walking around with a little twinkle in our eye and spring in our step today that wasn’t there two days ago. You’re like Superman who just stepped out of that glassy, icicle phonebooth looking thing and became mortal like the rest of us. Welcome back. I know you think we should be embarrassed that a few college kids went out and threw a couple of rolls of toilet paper in some trees last night. We’re not. You probably won’t believe this, but (speaking strictly for myself now) this is not even the best thing that has happened in my world this week…but it sure does put a smile on my face. 

I look forward to the future when at least one playoff spot in the ever-changing game that we all love is no longer a foregone conclusion. I look forward to the Saturdays when you can once again know the thrill of victory as an underdog instead of the relief that comes with just meeting expectations…astronomical as they may have been. And believe it or not…I look forward to the day when I can fully appreciate the man…the myth…the legend without rubbing the bruises he left behind. Maybe then I can say (or type) his name without the taste of gravel in my mouth…but I’m not quite there yet.

 

Enjoy your retirement, GOAT. Your presence on the sideline will be missed by many...but not by me.

WAR. DAMN. EAGLE.